The 3 Biggest Lies You’ve Been Told About Confidence (And What to Believe Instead)

Let’s be honest:If you’ve ever stood there, frozen, heart pounding, trying to muster up the courage to speak, only to say nothing, you’ve probably told yourself something like:

“I’m just not a confident person.”But here’s the truth:You’re not broken. You’ve just been lied to.

And those lies are the reason you keep hesitating, overthinking, and sitting on the sidelines of your own life.

Let’s break them down, and more importantly, show you what to believe instead.

Lie #1: “You’re either born confident or you’re not.”

This is the most damaging one. It makes you believe confidence is something mysterious, a trait you missed out on at birth. But confidence isn’t in your DNA. It’s not a “gift.”It’s a skill. Just like learning to cook, play guitar, or drive a car, confidence is learned through action.

Truth: Confidence is something you build, not something you inherit.

How do you build it?

• Small, consistent challenges

• Repetition (even when you mess up)

• Learning how to handle rejection, not avoid it

Lie #2: “You need to be loud, funny, or 'alpha' to be confident.”

A lot of men assume they have to become a version of themselves that isn’t real.They think confidence = extrovert, big personality, centre of attention. So they fake it.But people (especially women) see through that, and it backfires.

True confidence is being grounded in who you are. You can be calm, soft-spoken, introverted, and still magnetic. You just need to believe that being yourself is enough.

✅ Truth: Confidence is quiet self-assurance, not performance.

Lie #3: “Confidence comes after you get results.”

“If I had more success with women, I’d feel more confident.” "If I was better looking, I’d approach more.”Sound familiar? This mindset flips the formula, and keeps you stuck.

You think you need proof to act, but in reality, you build confidence by acting before you feel ready.

Confidence isn’t the reward, it’s the result of action.

✅ Truth: Action creates confidence, not the other way around.

You don’t wait until you’re confident to take the shot. You take the shot, and become confident through it.